One sounds like Kermit the Frog. And so does the other one! But who makes more sense when it comes to life lessons? Internet crossover sensation Jordan’s new book professes to help people with his rules for life, but is he a flash in the pan compared to Muppet leader and occasional philosopher Kermit the Frog?
Let’s find out!
On self esteem
“Just because you haven’t found your talent yet, doesn’t mean you don’t have one.”
Kermit the Frog
“You’re not as nice as you think. And you’re not as useless as you think.”
Jordan B Peterson
Result: Draw.
While Jordan’s opinion has impact, Kermit offers more optimism. Both are ultimately of no use.
On destiny
“Life is a movie, write your own ending.”
Kermit the Frog
“If you don’t say what you think then you kill your unborn self.”
Jordan B Peterson
Result: Kermit.
Just. Kermit’s view is lyrical hippy claptrap, on brand and dripping with worthless self-helperry. Jordan however goes straight for the jugular, is typically dark and feels a bit like the philosophical version of negging.
On knowledge
“Beware of advice from experts, pigs and members of Parliament”
Kermit the Frog
“I don’t think that you have any insight whatsoever into your capacity for good until you have some well-developed insight into your capacity for evil.”
Jordan B Peterson
Result: Kermit.
There’s nothing like humour to get your point across, and Kermit wins for that. Again, Jordan makes the fatal mistake of making us think we are terrible, terrible people.
On friendship
“With good friends, you can’t lose.”
Kermit the Frog
“Here’s how you know someone’s your true friend; you can tell them bad news, you can tell them good news and they’ll help you celebrate. Surround yourself with people who are good for the best part of you.”
Jordan B Peterson
Result: Jordan.
Kermit is wishy-washy here, while Jordan does what he does best, states the bleeding obvious with his clucking voice and makes a million billion Canadian Dollars in the process. Also, Kermit speaks as someone who is in an abusive relationship. With a pig.
On life
“Movin’ right along, footloose and fancy-free. Getting there is half the fun; come share it with me”
Kermit the Frog
“Life is suffering, and suffering can make you resentful, murderous, and then genocidal, if you take it far enough. So you need an antidote to suffering. And maybe you think that you can build walls of luxury around yourself, and that that will protect you from the suffering. Good luck with that.”
Jordan B Peterson
Result: Kermit.
Kermit’s is a song. A happy, jolly song, sung with his best friend Fozzy. Jordan on the other hand has mentioned murder, genocide and suffering (twice). Captain Buzzkill strikes again!
And the winner is…
Kermit!
He played Jordan Peterson like a fiddle; he knows how to balance soppy music with dangerous self-help twaddle, while Jordan’s propensity to help us through pointing out what awful people we are just leaves you cold.
